He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
