You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
