do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
