it wasn't lemon gatorade
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I enjoy the company of your penis
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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