I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
zippers are such a cool invention
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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