I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
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