I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize