You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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