I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
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