there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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