he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize