pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
At least life still wants to fuck me.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
