If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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