Dual....:-)
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
