Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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