I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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