I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
you never un-have a 4some
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
