I feel like abortions should bother me more
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize