Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
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