Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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