so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
