It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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