you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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