ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
