plz talk dirty to me
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Randomize
