high people should be assigned attendants
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
