More tranny stories later!
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
