I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize