I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
