glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
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