drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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