Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
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