In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Randomize
