i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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