how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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