Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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