i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
