i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
people are starting to question the shark bite story
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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