i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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