things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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