first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
