remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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