You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
