i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
