I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
