drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
