dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
