i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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