TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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