i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You need a sexual gate keeper
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize