His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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