It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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