i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
