i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
