some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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