everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
