I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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